Datin Apps

[marcus_germany]

Hello,

now, 2 weeks are past where i was active on Datin Apps the first tme of my Life.

First i tried the one, everyone knows, Starting with T, ending with R an the White Flame in a Red Background, you know which one

I filled out The large Profile. What i Like, what i search, and so on. I searched for woman between 30 and 50 Years as i am 46 years old

There are a lot of beautiful woman in this age, 90% i liked (right swipe)

When there was a match i typed "Hello" in the message.

Sometimes there was a reply but not often, but after replying, nothing came back or the question "What are you searching for??"

i googled about all this and tried to learn how to start a flirt with a woman. i am not very experienced as my last girlfriend was 25 years ago in the school and it did not last long, in this times i talked with a lot of girls, but, the reult never was a real date or even sex, no they just talked with me but had sex with other boys.

after some years i did not make any try again to date a women. Some time ago, on a fest (Winnenden city treff) i denced with some nive woman and noticed that they like me a little bit and also the woman from the beer and food wagons. as there were no other wine fests in the past weaks, i startet online Dating,

Unless i set the range in the named app to 6 kilometers to meet woman in my city (i do not want to travel far for a first date, and i do not want to have a steady relationship, only an affair or at least some fun.

I noticed most woman that the app shows have the steady relationship flagged in the profile. Even if you select affair or fun in dating apps

As the app startet to show woman much to far away and more fake profiles, i settet the range to be strict kept in 6 Kilometers. Unless this, The App showed woman in the Range of 29 Kilometers.And soon it was empty. Not much matiching profiles in my range.

i changed the minimum age to 25, this only added 4 more woman to swipe

Then i changed to the App starting and ending with p with the red heart

In the free mode you can write to woman but cannot read the answers. so i made the abo for 2 years for 22,50€ per month. There are also a lot of beautiful woan there

The app noticed "hello" is to short, try to write at least 5 words or more.

so i Wrote "Hello how are you doing?"

There where some replies, even some woman ansered more then one time, 2 Woman wanted to Date me but they were 220 Kilometers away. One was an ukrainian woman living in germany, one an afrikan woman living in germany. But the distance was to far.

German woman often only asked "what you are searching for here?" or did not answer more then twice.

An indian woman from frankfurt answered twice times but then no answer again.

i set the search reange to 20 kilometers (the minimum in the app)

only 20 woman where left, 15 beautiful enough t write them,

i tried creative writings als "Hello, i see you have red hair, red is my favourite colour" or "hello, i saw you like spending time in the nature , i also like long walks in the nature"


And also unless i entered in the profile looking for fun and affairs, most all woman the app showed me want a steady relationship

No relied came.

I cancelled the premium contract as this dows not make sense for me.

The third app was starting with l and ending with 24 and has a pink icon.

The app allows only to select a country, not to limit the distance.

After completing my profile, 4 woman liked me and 2 were writing me. writing back is free, but you can only write to about 20 women in the free account. i made the premium abo 29,99€/month, 6 months.

As the distance cannot be limited, the distanced where to long. the app also showed mostly only woman searching for a steady relationship unless i also selected searching for some fun and adventure as before

i also cancelled the subscription i between the 14 days revocation period.

so all this only charged me about 2 € so far


then as i need a lot of sex, 8 times a day, i searched for "dating nymphoman women".

google showd a site where where they tested the 10 best dating sites for sex. They rted the one starting with the aquamarion C on black Background as best.

There you make an anonymous profile only with photos of ou and what you are searching for. you can select the next big city near to you, in my case stuttgart, and searching for fun and adventure.

unless this most woman found search for a fixed relationship. The prmium abo would cost at least 50€ per month, Too expensive. Without the abou you can only see that woman are matching but cannot contact them.

Next try: real life. I googled again flirt tipps and where to date woman. clubs and bar.

but not the chic bars, they said the bars where people mostly stand and have a danceflor and a counter i should go. there most people drink and smoke a lot. I do not drink, i do not smoke and i have asthma, so nothing for me.

Clubs have a dress code. i am an asperger autist, i have real problems to find normal clothing (in public i do not want to show me in pvc) that fit and are pleasant for me. it is good enough for goindg to work or normal day, but not chic enough for the club. So i do not know if they let me in there. The same problem with Ü40 parties. So what do you think should do?

Maybe i will some day get the courage to go to a fetish party and show myself in pvc htere then it would fit and i should be able to date a nnice woman with the same fetish, i hope i will manage to do this before i am too old

[Cherie]

Sounds like you have had a bad experience with dating apps. Being older, I don’t understand much of the stuff that goes on in social media and online. So I think I can understand how frustrated you are, just wanting to get your desires known but having to go through impenetrable unsaid rules about how.

You say you don’t want a relationship, just fun. There will be a few women out there up for that, but most people don’t want to feel they are just there to be your fun. You have to see things from their perspective, which can be challenging with autism. Maybe, as you suggest, find a fetish venue and go to that. Meeting people in person cuts out the Internet, and likely they will already accept your PVC desires, but be prepared for 90% men to 10% women ratio. Or if you just want fun in PVC with a woman find a brothel and choose your girl for cash. She’ll do whatever you want and you dress however you like and ask her to dress as you want.

Cherie x

[marcus_germany]

Yes, you are right. Also the thing is, i am not looking like brad pitt nor a latino. I am average as most men. What i heave learned from all this is, woman seem to see in me a man that they can trust and that they can talk to. They seem to be not very interested in having sex with me, when they are interested in me they more seem to see someone they can trust and a family men. But i am not that. Beacaue of my autim, i have enough to do with myself, i have so much to do to manage my own life alone. I have my routines, so i manage my life. When another person would come in my life, the problem is, i would also have to manage the demands of the 2nd person, i could no longer make my routine. Evenm the dating over the apps made the last 2 wekks too turbulent, i spent to much time in it, i forgot some other things to do so i was every time too late in bed and only this to manage how to flirt and the thinking about all this created so much chaos that i was totally overloaded. Couldnt wait to see if there is an answer. Feeling sad when there was no answer. feeling euphoric when there was an positive answer and so on.Switching off the apps and coming to ths conclusion that the way i lived the last 25 jyears is the only way that works for me and the everyday without additional obligation, only dancing on a city fest with a nice woman, talking a little bit and after this everyone goes away i have no problem to manage, with this i am ok.

In internet i do not user social media much. i also do not like app notifications. Before dating, only banking apps ,2fa authenticators and other important stuff were allowed to notify on the smartphone screen. i switched back to this. Social media is not my thing. in the 90s i uploaded funny strange videos on youtube where i did crazy funny nonsense, but the people did not like it, i got soo much shitstorms for that, The people liked and respected me for my discussions and sharing my experience in web forums like this. So i am the forum guy, Forums fit for me to communicate, social media with this, oh, has someone writtren me the last 5 seconds, oh where is the answer? is too stressing.

So from this point its ok for me, i know, i did not miss out anything for me the last 25 years, i have learned a few things that i will try and some few things to change in my life, the rest will remain, and it is ok for me.

[Cherie]

You say you are happy with the way things have been for the last 25 years, yet you have been looking for a woman. Maybe you are happy, but it might be that you feel you should find a woman because society expects it. If you are happy then carry on as you are, there are plenty of people that live alone and are very happy.

I would have thought that a sex worker would be the ideal solution. She fits around your diary and you only interact during sex, no other person to manage. Sorry to push the point but it seems an ideal fit. Even if you found an autistic woman who appreciates your way of looking at things, it’s very unlikely that she would accept your liking for PVC.

Cherie x

[Taurus]

I have also been a member of dating sites in the past. It didn't do anything for me. I received no response from the women I liked and the women who responded to my profile all had one thing in common, they were very unattractive. For me datingsites or datingapps are a waste of money.

I am 46 just like you Marcus and I probably also have Asperer autism. I have been disappointed in finding somebody for 30 years. I was partly unlucky, but my autism may also have played a role. If I still find a nice woman it would be nice, but I am no longer searching for it.

[marcus_germany]

Yes, i agree with you. And the bonus: There is also a lot of Love Scam around. But luckily, made so bad that you hav to be totally drunk not to mention that its a scam message. When a Woman calling Annelies first asks for telegram and there is Named Valerie and does not know from what datin site she knows you. lol. ---> blocked, nur further communication. Also on Timder. woman 1 km away. Liking, Writing something, And an hour Later: 12000 km away?!?!?!

Yes the pressure of the society was a point. As i am an autist i do not see any sense in marrying or living together nor could i ever care for a child because of the mentioned problems with all this.

But the society gave me the feeling "There are a lot of singles out there but unless they have no permanent girlfrient, they meat other singles and have sex together.

ok, but this seems not to be true for all singles. The society says, no one is still virgin with > 10 years old. ok, true, but some of them lost virginity with a sex worker, nit with a real girl firiend, nobody mentions this difference.

Its the same as everyone on social media seems to go 6 -8 times a year in holiday, Oh, ok, they can spent 15000-20000€ a year for holyday. What do they work?

lol.

So, you are right, what fitted 25 years for me fits for me.

[Cherie]

Marcus,

It is really good that you recognise what you are capable of in a relationship. I have known several autistic people who feel they must be in a relationship and some want children. Even though they are never happier than when working alone on some important project that challenges them and allows them to apply the full weight of their abilities at the task without having to worry about anyone else in the world. I get a bit lonely because I am not in a relationship, but most of the time I am happy. One thing I love is volunteering to walk dogs at the local dog shelter. I get to go out in PVC rainwear when I like - dogs don’t care what you are wearing. I feel I am helping the trust and I give the dog back and don’t have to worry about looking after one at home. Win all round. Also, most of the staff are women and one girl sometimes wears PVC jeans which is always lovely to see. They have shiny nylon rain suits in dark green as their uniform for dirty work, like cleaning out, so that is also nice to see. I love the sense of anticipation when I go, wondering if I will get to see any shiny girls!

Cherie x

[marcus_germany]

Hello, yes, the most time i am also happy, i now got back to the things i did bevore: going out in the nature, travelling and my it/computer hobbies. I also was swimming (Wunnebad Winnenden). Last time i was there was over 20 ears ago: Down the water slide about 100 times and the flow channel about 80 times round, like in my youth and had fun like in my youth.

Some days ago i also though i should go out in the big city (stuttgart) and visit discos and clubs. in my life i was only 3 or 4 times in a disco, but then i was not really motivated to go to stuttgart, so i recognizced that it might not be really the thing i am going for and i understood:

Make things you made before in your life. What do did not do yet you might not really want soo much as you might think. Only because the classmates in the school 20 years ago found this hip does not mean that it is my way of life.

[marcus_germany]

i also now recogniced a problem with a special type of fomo (fear of missing out) by me.

A general fomo is "oh, in stuttgart there are techno clubs, i like techno, i should go to a club and dance". or "i was never in Berlin on the love parade. now the love parade is no longer, so i should go to a festival like nature one".

then "hmm, would have to travel a long way, spent much time for the way to the festival, spent a lot of money". The lokal city fest here is not as big, maybe, they even do not play techno, but it is near and free".

compared efford to the amount of fun, ok, no, i can miss this out, i always find something to spend goog time with lesser effort". so general fomo by me is temporarily.

I do not need it, but i temporarily do not want to miss it out, but the facts then tell me, this is bullshit, such an effort for this does not give me anything.

The problem is the special fomo type.

"oh, in stuttgart is swr arena of sound. its free, i am in 20 Minutes in stuttgart, i should not miss this out. I would not have a big effort. ok, i could also go to the cinema or swimming, but this i could also do another day (St nimmerleinstag?) but to this festival i can only go one time per year and its free, i do not really neetd it but if i miss it i feel sad not having taken the chance.

And it is the same with the women. I do not need a girl friend. My life is much easier without this. It would make more challenges and problems for me then being single. But when there is a women next door that is inerested in me and i do not have a long way to her (no big effort) i think i shpould never miss this out.

2 years ago at the city tree winnenden: city treff was over: i was the way home. also some boys and girls went home. one boy was talking with a girl.

the girl (25 to 30 years old) laughed to me "i come with this boy. He has dirty socks laying all around at home, i hate this, but despite this, i go to his flat".

i said "i also have a flat here in the street"

she asked "is it better in your flat than in his flat?"

(in this time i had a water damage and the whole bathroom was unter construction. Also the problems shown above why i can not invite other people to my home)

i said "no it is not really better in my home"

so she went to him.

6 Days later, the woman was on her balkony, and i recogniced she is living in the house on the other site. from my balkony i see her balkony, only 20 meters away.

shesaid "hy darling, nice to see you. oh i see you bring out your waste with a paper bag not plastic. you care about environment." She sent kisses to me and we talked a minute then she said

"i go in and close the door, so that not everyone can look inside my room"

i thought about:
can i go later to the house (9 different parties living there, in my house 8), and ring her bell? or would she felt disturbed. Would it ok for her? Is it this what i should do? And, whats her name? i don't know where to ring? When i ring on up to 9 flats to find the right one, what would people think? I will ask her next time

but:

The next 3 montah i did not see her in the windows. then i saw her but she did never looked out to me when she was there, the balkony door was closed. 6 months later, balkony door was open but nooone to seee.

should i shout "hello?!". i think no, 6 months were gone without contact, she might have another boy friend and it would be a bad idea. or she is angry as i did not recogniced her this long time?

so i could not do anything. 1 year later: no further contact, i saw here through the windows in her flat but she did not look out.

next city treff. Oh, what to do to compensate this? try to dance and talk with other nice woman in the hope to find another nice one. ok, i danced with a lot of woman and some liked me a little bit, we talked but then everyone went back home when the fet was over.

so i thought, how could i get in contact with other single woman in the city, maximum 6 km around my flat so that its near to them by foot?

so this let to the dating on the dating apps, but as written above, a bad idea.

i then recogniced that telegram seens to have exact the function i need: showing people 2 km around me.

but telegram only reveals sex workers and drug dealers.

one woman there had in the profile "i am searching for love"

i wrote to her unless i was not sure if real or fake. i kept general and shared no too detailed information about me and where i work, also as i would not do when talking to a person in real life i didi not know before. safety first.

it seemed that she likes me, but then she only posted that i could see more pics pof her in onlyfans.

oh ok, also only a sex worker, but the type earning money buy selling sex videos and pictures in onlyfans.

so stopped further communication and blocked her

so now as i know, there is no woman out there searching for me, i do not miss a chance, and in theory i tried everything without effort, so everything again is ok for me, i can continus to live my life then before. i do not miss anything out, so no fomo problem.

its the same as when on a wine fest or city fest you buy somethhing to eat and get a voucher for a free drink in their restaurant. you see the restaurant is near, you walk there and they say, no, the voucher is only valid when you also eat here and you go away and think "i could have saved the way if i knew that before"

its the same thing.

So i still look to her balkony when i come home not to miss out a chance unless i know there is one but not looking for her would be fomo.